As I read the paper this morning, always the day's before, I came across this cartoon. I have actually done this. Have you ever hugged yourself? While in mental health school, a large portion of the education was based on self love and self acceptance; As you are, where you are. Most of us are taught to accept others' in this way. I wonder why it is so very difficult to apply those same principals when it involves treating ourselves with kindness and respect. At least it has been almost impossible for me at times. I have made a practice of being kinder to a stranger than I have been to myself, or changing a bad habit for a family member because they are important or it will benefit them, but I wouldn't stop the bad habit to benefit myself. I am referring to the year I quit smoking cigarettes. My son was 12, I weighed 135 pounds, and the deal was, that if I would quit smoking he would promise to never start. It worked! I quit, he doesn't smoke, and all is well, other than I gained 50 pounds when I quit smoking. We will discuss the notion of replacing bad habits with positive behaviors soon.

There was also an article in the same publication of The Dayton Daily News/Healthy Living section, that is apparently an ongoing weekly feature, this one entitled "Fight your 'love weight' with workouts, by staff writer Robin McMacken. She discusses the prospect that "obesity is contagious". I am going to follow the series and keep you "posted" about the hi-lighted content that is pertinent to our blog. This particular article spoke to the topic of how love can make us gain weight. I have personal experience with this topic. Food is love right? Per this article, scientific findings suggest that relationships bring extra eating and weight gain. According to a study by the Obesity Society, young women that were dating gained an average of 15 pounds during 5 years; women who were cohabiting, but not married, gained 18 pounds; and the newly married gained 24 pounds.

The "obesity is contagious" study published in the New England Journal of Medicine reports that if one spouse becomes obese, the other is 37 percent more likely to do so as well. They elude to the fact that once love strikes, workouts and regular exercise often go by the way- side because working out to attract someone has been realized.

Urban Active Fitness at the Greene Town Center in Beavercreek has tapped into this problem, and is offering a free personal-training session for couples or a free seven-day pass to the gym for single people. They go even further in helping couples by suggesting that instead of dinner dates, get yourself and/or partner involved in interests that challenge you both.

To give a plug to Urban Active, you may visit their website, www.urbanactive.com or call their Beavercreek location at (937) 427-0700. I have no personal affiliation with them other than my salon is in the same center.

This particular weight gain in love issue really struck a chord with me. I did the math. My husband and I have been married almost 16 years. The day I walked down the isle, I weighed in that morning at 135 pounds. So, if as the article suggests, you gain 5 pounds yearly, according to their calculations, I should have gained 80 pounds, which is almost exactly the amount I've gained in this marriage. Interestingly enough, "Husband" has matched me pound for pound.

I do want to take this opportunity to inject my support of this working out together theory. For the first time in our marriage, "Husband" and I ARE actually working out together. We are going to the YMCA 3 days a week, reporting our weights to each other, and working toward the common goal of being healthier, living longer, and slowing down our aches and pains, which by the way, are NUMEROUS!!! Aches and pains were the catalyst of this entire self-improvement journey for me. I awoke one work day unable to walk. For a profession, I have been standing on concrete floors for 30+ years, and that coupled with the weight I have been carrying around too long, took it's toll and culminated into the morning that instigated this journey and changed my life. I actually told "Husband" I was thinking about getting a walker or cane, and contemplated utilizing my disability insurance. The pain was excruciating, like nothing I've ever experienced and I have had 30 surgeries with hefty recuperation periods, have been an athlete the better part of my life, have had broken bones, and in the past year have begun having some pretty bad falls due to neuropathy in my feet and legs. This pain coincided with a recent change of family doctors'. I had been seen by a local internal med doc for routine things; colds, flu, etc., but in hindsight I now know he was avoiding discussing my weight problem and was not offering routine, age appropriate tests as he should. Let me say, I did ask for tests that I knew were necessary due to my age and medical conditions, diabetes testing, questions regarding my neuropathy and he basically said there was nothing we needed to do at the time, and that there is nothing to be done for neuropathy. This is irresponsible folks! On the Physician's part and on ours. We have to seek out support systems in our lives. Due to some problems in his practice, I sought a new Family Physician. Dr. Sarah Hussein, Miamisburg Family Practice. I credit her with shocking my ass into shape. Upon my first visit with her, she said "Carrie, you need to lose weight" and "you would be a great candidate for lap band surgery". Holy Crap! I know numerous people that have had bariatric by-pass and lap-band. No thanks! I was stunned. I looked at "Husband" and felt faint and like I had been punched in the gut. I quickly thanked her and told her I appreciated her saying something to me about it, but that I could handle this weight problem without medical intervention of that sort. The day of the first visit with Dr. Hussein, I weighed 262.9 pounds. Along with "Husband", she has become my personal cheerleader. She strokes my ego every time I see her, which is 1 time a month, just to weigh in and let her chart my progress and for a little stroking. Okay a lot of stroking. We are doing this together. It does take a village. At least in my world. What I'm saying here, is that as wives, mother's, friends, counselors, etc., we are so good at caring for and rallying around others', why don't we incorporate that same support into our personal lives? I'm just saying. It wasn't really that hard to ask for help...Okay it was, but once I had my own personal cheerleaders, including myself, it's been the easiest weight loss journey for me to date.

Now my plug for Dr. Sarah Hussein. She assured me she is always accepting new patients. Husband is switching to her as well. She is kind, patient, loving, and willing to refer you out to specialists if she feels something is beyond her scope. I don't know about you, but I've not experienced many physicians that possess this generosity without bruised egos. She referred me to an Orthopedic that informed me that I am currently "bone on bone" in both knees. He too had the balls to address my weight problem. Dr. Hussein realizes it takes a village as well.

Folks, it's not like I didn't know I was fat, or that I needed to lose weight. It just snuck up on me. By avoiding my reflection in mirrors from the shoulders down, cutting the sizes out of my Goodwill purchases, and avoiding trying on swimsuits, I have to tell you I was successful in denial for a very long time. It took someone doing their job to slap me in the face with facts to shock me into reality and to understand that in order for me to have quality of life from this day forward, I was going to have to love myself and invest in myself the same as I would for a friend or a loved one. Good luck on your journey...

As always, I look forward to your comments and sharing. Next entry I plan on sharing my wonderful resource, Teri Melton, swim instructor at the YMCA.

Until next time. CT